My Story

I believe that I have been on a *conscious* self-development journey for my whole life. From the time I was very little, I sensed my purpose. I knew I had big things to accomplish. I was creative, inventive, sensitive, empathic, driven, self-motivated, and had a bright light that shone without filter...

...until it didn’t. 

As with all humans, the simple act of growing up began of the process of dimming my light. Just like you, I had experiences of not fitting in, feeling misunderstood and different, having heart break, betrayal, and disappointment.

The first big snuffer of my light happened in high school: a traumatic date rape and subsequent public shaming from peers who didn’t know the real story - and I was too humiliated, ashamed, and traumatized to tell them the truth.

Instead, I protected my assailant - didn’t want to get him “in trouble” or “ruin his life.” I ‘took one for the team” and allowed my reputation to go down the drain - and with it went my self-respect, self-love, and any semblance of feeling safe in the world. I was 16. Life went on, but that event set my walls of self-protection building and kept me small. 

College opened new doors for me. My confidence surged. I was BACK! Independent, smart, capable, and ready to take on the world. It was during this time in my life that I happened upon an infomercial that began my “official” personal development journey. I quite literally emptied my bank account to invest in Tony Robbins’ Personal Power program on cassette tapes, and began learning about the power of positive thinking.

 I attracted my soul mate husband with those techniques! Wow! I was head over heels and on fire! I was at the top of my college class, and on top of my game! I was public speaking about date rape (what a way to take back my power), was a leader and inspiration for others, and IN LOVE with my man and my life. I was 21. 

Within 4 months, I was engaged (when you know, you know), and, after being apart for 6 months while he served in Desert Storm, I happily married him when he came safely home.  I was just 22.

Three years later, I was walking across the stage in my cap and gown, expecting our first son. The perfect life was unfolding just like I had dreamed (or...had been conditioned to have). We built our forever family home and I secured a decent full-time corporate job that would pay the bills and give us access to health insurance. 

...I woke up 10 years later. Two kids, a high-stress corporate career, bills up to our eye-balls, and that dead-inside feeling of a life unfulfilled. I was on the proverbial treadmill and there was no end in sight. I was failing...as a mother, a wife, an employee, and as mySELF.

I had given up my passion, dreams, creativity, health, and self-care to “the corporate chase” - conditioned to settle for less, accept the chaos, and live in the toxicity in favor of keeping everything together and appeasing everyone around me.

I wanted it all - and on the outside, it may have appeared that I had it. But nothing could have been further from the truth. FAKE NEWS is what they call it today. I was miserable, worn out, brain-fried, soul-sucked, uninspired, unmotivated, and was just a shell of the smart, fit, strong, independent, creative, adventurous person I once was. 

I was stuck. The “golden handcuffs” had me locked up, so I kept going. More and more stress, less and less passion. Chronic migraines, unhealthy eating, numbing out with meds and food - getting up every morning and putting my life on repeat.